Not What the Label Says…

Posted by admin - 22/06/12 at 01:06 pm

Sam and Susie met Bill and Louise at their favorite restaurant, a Sunday night ritual that over ten years, had forged a deep friendship.
Sam, the eternal optimist, contrasted greatly with Bill, a die-hard pessimist.
Susie, a risk taker, seemed almost the opposite of Louise, a staunch conservative.
Their dinner dialogues never lacked spice.

“They’ve been lying to us,” proclaimed Susie waving her hands. “They’ve been lying all along.  It’s no wonder we can’t lose any weight.”
“What are you talking about?” asked Louise with her usual smirk.
“The labels.  All the labels that you and I scrutinize before buying anything.” She leaned in for emphasis. “They lie.”

“That’s ridiculous, Suze,” retorted Louise. “Those labels are highly regulated by the FDA and all kinds of other government agencies.  Don’t be stupid.”
“That’s what I thought, too,” Susie exclaimed. “But that’s not the point.”
“Oh?” Louise raised an eyebrow.

“What it says on the label only applies to when the product is inside the wrapper.  What happens to it after you eat it is a whole other deal.”
Susie let her point sink.
“You know those fat-free muffins you love so much?” Susie continued.
Louise nodded.
“They’re loaded with sugar,” Susie asserted.
“Yeah, but no fat.” Louise served up her self-satisfied smile.

“That’s the big lie, Louise.  The only time they have no fat is when they are in the plastic shrink-wrap.”
Susie paused.
“The minute you gulp one down all that sugar goes into your stomach.  Your body can’t do anything with it except store it.  Guess what kind of storage we have?”
Susie waited.
Louise fidgeted nervously.
“Fat?” she finally asked.

“You got it.”
Susie beamed.
“That’s disgusting,” Louise snorted.
“Yep. We’ve been duped.” Susie patted her stomach. “No wonder I can’t get rid of my friend here, even though I count every blessed calorie. It doesn’t matter what the label says. It only matters what happens after we munch.”
“That’s gross,” Louise half-mumbled. “It makes me really angry.”
“Me, too,” Susie agreed.

“So what do we do, Suze?”
“What do you think?”
“Get rid of the sugar?” Louise frowned.
“All the processed kind,” Susie nodded.

“Are you hiding any other little lies from me, girlfriend?” Louise queried.
“Same thing applies to soda and white flour—no nutrition, extra fat storage.”
Susie sat back and crossed her arms.

The men interrupted their conversation and butted in.
“What are you girls yappin’ about?” Sam blurted out.
“Susie just told me about the Big Fat Lie,” Louise said with a smug face.
“Yeah. Made me sick, too,” Sam related. “You didn’t hear me order a fat-free coke tonight, did ya’?”
“I wondered about that,” said Bill. “So unlike you.”
“Not anymore, ol’ buddy” Sam replied. “Not anymore.”

That’s A View From The Ridge…

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