Don’t be so cool.

Fred always blurts out the best comebacks.

“How’s your Mom, Fred?” “Dumb as a mule and twice as stubborn.” He delights in the art of cutting others down, without discrimination. When questioned about anything, Fred spews an adverse slant. “How was your weekend, Fred?” “It came after the week, is about all I can say,” he answers. “The storm knocked out the power and if it hadn’t been for my back-up generator, the rain would’ve flooded my basement. Then our worthless quarterback almost threw the game away. That’s the worse undefeated team in history.”  
Always half empty.
Always the hole in the donut.
What causes Fred, and so many others, to revel in trash talk or witty cynicism, to laugh at someone else’s expense, to sneer at misfortune and make all-knowing comments?

Some people find it hip to act negative, as if the stream of digs and snide remarks props them up.
Does it?
Do they truly feel better?

I don’t think so.
A wicked irony underlines the very premise.
“I put someone down, it makes me feel up.”

Maybe so.
Here’ the catch.
When you cast aspersions, you throw your own anchor into Loneliness Sea.
A fog bank blankets your heart as fast as the water engulfs the rusted metal.
Disdain and contempt lead to hard lined faces and shaded eyes.
Compare and despair.

On my way to work today, I tried to think of who I spent time with that condoned this behavior-the resident mock and scoff comedians, jeer and taunt quipsters.
I couldn’t remember any.
The names that came to mind, I no longer speak with nor maintain a connection.
Harsh?
Perhaps.

I admit a certain frailty of spirit.
I don’t want to hang out with downer types-no matter how canny their commentary.
Their gunk rubs off, like a greasy film that takes forever to expunge.

Read violent books, ride the violence in your dreams.
Watch ugly programming, cast a pale veil over your world view.
Listen to deft reprobates, learn to look for the dark side.

Not me.
Can’t go there.
I miss too many of the beautiful moments to add an unneeded extra shroud.
I’m looking for comrades who celebrate victories, challenge obstacles, mourn soulfully over losses, absorb the lesson and the pain, take responsibility for all of it and move on with a smile-or at least the intention to find one as soon as possible.

We drudge up enough fault in ourselves.
We don’t need to cut each other down.
It never serves.
It’s not that funny.

Next time those nimble words creep up your throat, ask yourself who hurts the most from their utterance.
Do you really want to launch that snide remark?

No one ever erected a statue to a critic.

Ridgely Goldsborough 

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Success Quotes

If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.
Rabbi Harold Kushner

Your enthusiasm will be infectious, stimulating and attractive to others. They will love you for it. They will go for you and with you.
Norman Vincent Peale

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Key Points

Cynicism is simply not that cute.
Putting others down “for sport” is in no way “sportsman-like.”
And yet, people still do it.
I’ve often asked myself why. Do they gain any true benefit? Is it just a bad habit? Are they that deluded or deranged?

No one can achieve any great victory on the shoulders of someone else’s misfortune. We can’t find happiness through someone else’s unhappiness. It won’t work.
Every time we put down someone else, by nature, we put ourselves down. We fail to respect the dignity inherent in every human being and miss the opportunity to raise the spirits of someone else-that in turn raises our own spirits.

Think celebrate, not criticize, compliment not demean. Search for a reason to say something positive and miraculously, positive will return to you. If someone is missing a smile, offer them yours. If someone needs a kind word, fill that need. It takes so little to make a big difference. Be a lighthouse not a black hole.

In difficult times, remember that a smile is a gentle curve that sets a lot of things straight.